Parenting advice has always centred around the assumption that when it comes to babies, mum instinctively knows best. While maternal intuition is real and valuable, this narrative can sometimes unintentionally side dads during the earliest months of their baby’s life.
But things are changing. Increasingly, research and parenting experts are highlighting how babies benefit from forming secure bonds with more than one caregiver, and why confident, involved dads are a key part of that picture.
Letting go of the idea that one parent must always take the lead can help build stronger family dynamics, support maternal wellbeing, and ultimately give babies a wider foundation of security and care.
Why babies benefit from more than one caregiver
Babies are remarkably adaptable. From birth, they are capable of forming strong attachments with multiple caregivers, whether that’s dad, a grandparent, or another trusted adult.
When both parents are actively involved in soothing, feeding and settling routines, babies learn that comfort and safety can come from different people. This helps build resilience and confidence as they grow.
It can also help babies adapt more easily to real-life situations, from nursery drop-offs to bedtime with a different caregiver.
Parenting specialists often emphasise that consistency matters more than who provides the care. When babies experience predictable routines and calm responses, they feel secure regardless of which parent is doing the settling.
The pressure on mums to be the ‘default parent’
Despite this, many families fall into a pattern where mum becomes the automatic problem-solver for every cry, night wake-up, or unsettled moment.
Sometimes this happens unintentionally. Breastfeeding, maternity leave and early bonding can naturally place mums at the centre of baby care in the beginning.
But when the narrative becomes “mum is better at it”, dads can start to step back, even when they want to be more involved.
This can create a cycle where mothers feel overwhelmed, while fathers feel unsure or less confident in their parenting role.
Encouraging dads to take ownership of everyday caregiving tasks (from bath time to bedtime routines) helps everyone. For brands like Danish baby company BIBS, which focuses on products designed to support babies’ natural soothing instincts, this shift towards shared caregiving reflects what many families already experience: babies thrive when both parents feel confident responding to their needs.
As midwife Wynona Wind explains: “Bottle feeding can support a family in an individual way because it makes caregiving more flexible and allows responsibility to be shared.”
Why confidence matters for dads
Like any skill, parenting confidence grows through practice. When dads regularly soothe their baby, change nappies, manage feeds or settle them to sleep, they begin to develop their own instincts and rhythms.
Babies, in turn, learn that their father’s voice, smell and touch are just as comforting. Small moments can make a big difference. Something as simple as dads taking charge of the evening routine or night-time settling can help strengthen these early bonds.
And importantly, it allows mums the chance to rest and recharge, something that is crucial during the demanding newborn months.
Creating routines both parents can own
One of the simplest ways to support shared parenting is by creating routines that both parents feel confident handling. Bedtime is often an ideal place to start. Babies thrive on familiar cues – a feed, a cuddle, a lullaby, or a favourite comfort item.
When both parents regularly take part in these rituals, babies learn that comfort and reassurance come from the routine itself rather than a single person.
Having reliable soothing tools can also help parents feel more confident responding to their baby’s needs. According to Danish baby brand BIBS, thoughtful product design can play a role in supporting these everyday parenting moments.
At the heart of this is how babies learn to feel calm and secure in the presence of those caring for them. As speech therapist Anne Ouattara-Hühnlein explains: “Regulation begins in relationship and trust. Infants are not yet able to regulate themselves; they need co-regulation through physical closeness and touch, familiar voices and scents, rhythmic movements such as sucking or rocking, and familiar sensory experiences.”
Supporting babies’ natural soothing instincts
From birth, babies have a natural sucking reflex that helps them regulate and soothe themselves. This is why many babies find comfort in breastfeeding, thumb sucking or using a dummy.
Soothers can become a helpful part of shared caregiving routines, offering babies a familiar source of comfort regardless of which parent is settling them.
BIBS’ iconic round soother shape is designed to mimic the feel of a mother’s breast, helping babies transition more easily between feeding and soothing while supporting natural oral development.
It’s also important to recognise that every baby is different, and some may need more time and support to settle into routines and relationships. As paediatric neonatal nurse Jessica Blauer explains: “Some babies take a little longer to settle in. Not because they are difficult, but because their start in life needs a little more support.”
Moving from ‘mum knows best’ to ‘parents know best’
Ultimately, modern parenting is less about assigning roles and more about working as a team.
When both parents feel capable and trusted, babies benefit from more responsive care, mothers experience greater support, and dads develop stronger emotional bonds with their children. So perhaps it’s time to update the old phrase.
Instead of mum knows best, the real truth might be something far more powerful: babies thrive when both parents feel confident, involved and supported from the very beginning.
Paid Partnership with BIBS
bibsworld.com
